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Negative Emotions Steal Wealth & Happiness Don Mize © 2006, Don Mize In the 1 February 2005 On Wall Street, Dr. Dennis Pearne recounts the story of James, a young man who inherited great wealth when both parents died in an automobile accident.  James, only nineteen when they died, continued to put off signing documents and checks years later.  In despair, his financial advisor dismissed him as a client.  He considered James irresponsible and too much trouble. The article, "Emotional Rescue: An indecisive or fickle client may be wrestling with serious personal issues," finds in James a perfect example.  Dr. Pearne realized that James had never recovered from his parents’ sudden death.  The unexpected wealth triggered remorse, guilt, and depression.  To the financial advisor, James appeared merely irresponsible. In James we see how negative emotions can overwhelm a rational approach to money.  In fact, negative emotions can destroy us financially as well as steal our happiness.  We all, like James, have a past that intrudes into the present.  Archaic negative feelings often swallow the present and result in inner pain as well as irrational actions. In the same article, Dr. Pearne discusses Susan.   Susan approached a financial advisor to contribute to charity.  Her parents had suggested that contributions to charity would gain some tax relief while doing some good in the world.  Susan handed the advisor a list of charities but suffered an anxiety attack and left abruptly before any decisions were made. After consulting a counselor about her anxiety attack, Susan returned to her financial advisor a few weeks later.  Susan, it seems, had not even looked at the list of charities given her by her parents.  As they went over the list in the earlier session, Susan had suddenly realized that she was not interested in many of her family's usual charities.  Also, some of the charities actually violated her political views and values.  Thus, she had experienced overwhelming anxiety. After sorting out her emotional reaction, Susan returned to her financial advisor with a rational approach that expressed her values.  As much as she loved her family and wanted to please them, she also needed to be her own person.  Her past included the blessing of wealthy and wise parents, but that same past created anxiety as she rejected their charities.   Even blessings can become an emotional issue as we move into new situations. Not all of us have been blessed with wealth, but we all must deal with basic factors like income, expenses, and how we use our cash.  On one hand, nothing would seem more rational than working with numbers.  We have a certain income to balance with certain expenses.  If our expenses exceed our income, we are headed for financial ruin.  On the other hand, if we take in more than we spend, we have money to save or invest.  Yet, emotions drown reason. Some excuse negative emotions by appealing to genes.  While genes are factors in our personal equation, genes do not hopelessly predetermine our behaviors.  Identical twins (same genes, DNA, etc.) brought up in the same environment may lose their mother and respond differently.  One twin may move beyond the loss into a fulfilling life while the other twin experiences a lifetime of depression.  An excellent article explaining the interaction of genes and behavior was written by Robert Sapolsky in the 1 October 1997 issue of Discover entitled "A gene for nothing."  Even allowing for the advances in research since 1997, the basic insights are sound. Because our behaviors and reactions are not fixed in some way beyond our control, we speak of genetic predispositions, not genetic causes.  We are neither completely free nor completely determined.   Personal growth allows us to expand our locus of freedom beyond past conditioning and/or genetic predispositions. Even allowing for a locus of freedom, emotional reactions still interfere with our financial good judgment.  For example, some of us are impulsive.   If you are impulsive, you cannot do a task unless you feel like doing it, you act without thinking, and you are spontaneous.  While you may be lots of fun, you are probably poor (or soon will be).  Money slips through the fingers of the impulsive person. Other negative emotions that hinder us financially are anxiety, depression, or an excessive need-to-be- needed.  A need to control (a way of dealing with anxiety) can trick us into using money as a weapon and sour our relationships.  In fact, the endless list boils down to negative emotions trumping reason. Negative emotions trump reason even for the wealthy.  Ellen Uzelac wrote an article for the 1 October 2002 issue of Research about Joan DiFuria who, after a successful business career, fell into becoming a counselor to the wealthy.  The article is entitled "Soft Skills: Joan DiFuria helps clients and their advisors confront the emotional issues surrounding money."  DiFuria says that many of her clients reach the end of the rainbow, but "see more gold, not inner gold."  She points out that in spite of their wealth they continue to feel painful anxiety.   DiFuria says bluntly, "They're still scared." The truth is that even people who have a strong faith in God are not automatically happy.  Anne Lamott wrote an article entitled "The anxious woman's guide to financial serenity…" for the 1 March 2005 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine.  In the article she tells of going to an ATM to withdraw some cash for a cab only to have her request denied.  Her instant reaction was that her money had been stolen, her bank had failed, or someone had stolen her identity." One may have a genuine faith in God and yet be bombarded by automatic thoughts with attached negative emotions (the flesh responses that war against the Spirit cf. Galatians 5:17-25).  Note the automatic thoughts with attached feelings of panic that bombarded Lamott: someone stole my identity; my bank has failed, someone stole my money.  The truth is that most Christians never experience the abundant life Christ promised: on one hand, we know we are blessed; on the other hand, old automatic thoughts and attached negative emotions create inner pain. Thus, negative emotions complicate discussions about money and steal our happiness.  People often cannot resolve conflict about money because outdated emotional reactions trump reason.  These emotional roots are deep, often beginning in childhood.  Only as we grow personally and spiritually do we learn to move beyond past conditioning, increase our coping skills, and live more perfectly in the peace God promises in Christ.

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